Steelhead Ho-Hum about Go Go’s

Due to the direct correlation between a previous post  heaping joy and adulation on the White Sox, and the 3 game skid that followed, this entry will not be about a happy South Sider chirping his praises.  Even though credit is due to many right now, why fuck it up because a delusional psychopath (SH) wants to dance in strawberry fields with “Southpaw” in lieu of recent success?    

My dad used to tell me: “Never tamper with a well-oiled machine son, because your dumb ass will break something, you’ll get oil all over your hands, and no girls will want to play with your pecker.”  That advice (which I actually just made up), is sage-like for the current situation, so let’s take a different path this time., and look at some people and numbers:

Jim Thome:

$15,666,666 = Jim Thome’s salary

.212 = Jim Thome’s batting average

Designated Hitter = Jim Thome’s position

15.666666 = Steelhead’s frustration with #25 (On a scale of 1 to 16)

If you are a chimney sweep, it is your SOLE OCCUPATION to sweep chimneys.  Any person in this particular field who can’t cut the mustard (sweep chimneys) is instantly forced to dedicate their time and talents elsewhere.  I feel the same way for designated hitters.  Although their task (hitting a baseball) is often harder than it looks, $16 million a year should make any man pretty damn good at it.

Quite frankly, Big Jim is not cutting the mustard right now.  As DH, you should, at the very least, expect a base-hit once every four at bats.  This is 25% of the time.  With Thome only connecting at a rate of 21%, he is simply not doing his job.  Factor in the grotesque $16 million salary, and his expected batting average should be more like .260-.275. I am a little agitated with his inability to perform adequately right now.  It is time to step up……. 

Sox as a Team:

33-43 = 2007 record after all-star break

33-41 = 2006 record after all-star break

41-34 = 2005 record after all-star break

36-41 = 2004 record after all-star break

Question : What do all of these records have in common (besides being shitty)? 

Answer: Every season, the Sox had a better record in the first half.  This is not a positive trend for winning teams. 

With the exception of the ’05 team that held on, we are all too familiar with catastrophic and historic collapses late in the season with our Sox.  The blame has been different each time, ranging from injuries, uninspired play, in house squabbles, and most notably an owner who can really be a dickhead when he wants to (1997 “White Flag” trade, 2006 refusal to acquire Soriano).

I have been a fan of the Pale Hose too long to show more than the appropriate level of excitement for this year’s team.  Sure it has been a wonderful ride thus far, and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been enjoying it, but, as Roddy Piper says in They Live, “Brother, reality is a bitch……and she’s back in heat.”  Damn right Hot Rod.

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