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GOOD NEWS: The White Sox magic number was 5 on Tuesday night


BAD NEWS: That number remained 5 after Minnesota pounded Javier Vasquez and the Sox 9-3

Everything about last night was ugly.  We enjoyed an early lead in the top half of the 2nd, and that was the absolute zenith of my evening, as things went south quickly.  Despite the White Sox inability to get hits or retire batters , it was one of those nights where a loss is inevitable:

The Twinks big 4th inning was started by 480 lb. Jason Kubel hitting a triple.  You know the baseball gods are not in your corner when this lardass piece of shit waddles for a 3-bagger.  This was of course AFTER foodbag hit a two run homer in the 2nd.

With Kubel on 3rd, a parade of fluky bloop singles painting the foul lines ensues.  The Hump Dome crowd of inbreds who talk funny nearly riot.  I bite my lip, secretly hoping a Kubel burrito fart empties the seats by the end of the 5th.

Vasquez gets out of the inning down 5-1, and the momentum is infinitely in Minnesota’s corner.  Call me crazy, but I’m beginning to get that feeling the magic number will be 5 after tomorrow too.

Twinks go up 7-1 in the 5th, after eternal douchebag Justin Morneau hits a double to start things off.  At this point, I decide I’ve had enough, and turn off the TV.  Question my fandom all you fucking want, but I would rather miss the last half of this epic failure/blowout loss, than miss my HD flatscreen TV for the Sox playoffs games because I threw a sledgehammer through the screen in a drunken rage.

Speaking of Morneau and rages, is anybody else absolutely sick of the “M-V-P” chants EVERY time he steps to the plate?  Sadly, Mini-Hulk’s campaign is officially over, so this smug asshole is actually the AL’s best candidate right now.  It is up to the Pale Hose to cancel his playoff plans, and MVP bid.  I think vomit will dribble from every orifice in my body if the title “2-time AL MVP Jason Morneau” is ever uttered by an announcer. 

We need to take at least one (preferrably 2) games in this series.  Nobody said it was going to be easy, but goddamnit, it has to happen……


1 Comment(s)

  1. Comment by redbumponapigschest on September 24, 2008 8:52 pm

    Dear Mr. Steelhead,

    If you are feeling down and out about your favorite baseball team, no need to fret. There is always a team who will accept you…. they are just a little NORTH of U.S. sell out……….. GO CUBS GO

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