Before I even (pitifully) attempt to win you back after weeks of abstinence from 4HT, I’ll admit old SH has been quite a turd of late, leaving you in the dark during a stretch when much has happened. My reasons for bailing are far from adequate (booze, women, cheap booze, cheap women, etc.), but I assure you that 4HT is still in business. The plummeting arrow in your last stock report is no reason to ring the alarm, so grab a bowl, cause I’m serving up some Thursday goulash with all your favorite ingredients.
Speaking of Kyle, let’s start with the Middie Monsters
The under, yet overachieving Bears are 5-3, and alone in first place. Getting burned by the ageless Gus Frerotte for 41 points was pretty embarrassing, and definitive signs of a playoff push are nowhere to be seen in the wake of ALL-WORLD quarterback Kyle Orton nursing a sore ankle days before a huge showdown with the undefeated Oil…err Titans. Goulash tastes like shit my friends, and the Bears offense will certainly look like it with Rex chucking bombs into the teeth of the league’s best defense. Captain Neckbeard taking snaps gives us a chance, but Little Mac getting the nod will reek of a throwaway game, literally.
Prediction: Bears 20 Titans 17 (Bears trail 14-3 at half, Orton comes in and rallies 2nd half comeback)
Lovie: “Grossman you idiot!!! You do realize the guys with that stupid-ass flaming T on their helmets are not on our team right? REX! Are you even listening to me?”
Rex: “Juke……Box……..Hero!! Got lalalala……..Juke Box…..WHOA, you got big fucking eyes brah.”
Lovie (thinking to himself): Why didn’t we at least look at Daunte?
At 2-3, the Bully Boys are right about where many anticipated, smack-dab in the middle of the Eastern Conference. The wins haven’t been overly impressive, and 2 of the losses were blowouts. Anybody who isn’t at Lens Crafters right now waiting for glasses can see that lack of inside scoring will once again spell doom for this young team. Derrick Rose is a freaking stud, and anyone still whining about Beasley being a better fit needs a Big Show chokeslam. Inside scoring would still be the achilles if we took him, and a bleak outlook for the next 5 years would accompany it. Here’s a peek of what being a Bulls fan would look like if B-Easy was our posterboy:
Not gonna lie, out of sheer protest for Deny Savard inexplicably getting fired, my Hawk viewing privileges have been minimal at best (highlights), and perhaps that’s a good thing. Chicago has been 3-0 during my hiatus, and actually resemble a professional hockey team right now. Wingers (not of the pussy Detroit variety) Patrick Sharp and Patrick Kane lead the team in scoring, and the fossilized, geriatric chain-smoker Nikolai Khabibulin has not lost in regulation since the second game of the season. Out of respect for streaks and all things sacred, I will refrain from crawling back until a loss (in regulation) is registered, which may not be for awhile, seeing the Hawks have the next 4 games at the UC, where they are uber-tough.
Re-commit to the Indian already Steelhead, Deny would want it that way…..
Saved this one for last, hoping all the piss and vinegar still in my system from Saturday would be gone, but unfortunately it isn’t. Up 17-3 at halftime against a decent opponent on national television, the Irish limp into the second half, commit a dumbfuck penalty that leads to a Pitt touchdown, and then hang around only to be eventually squashed in 4 overtimes. You can bet your ass Notre Dame would be ranked this week (deservably or not) if they won that game, and at least a tiny, tiny shred of credibility would be bestowed upon the Domers for the first time in ’08. 6-2 looks mighty sexy right now, and the reality of things (5-3) much less. Let me put that one game difference into perspective for you:
Notre Dame: 6-2, ranked #24
Notre Dame: 5-3, UNR
That’s all i got for now, getting ready to watch ND’s Brady Quinn resurrect the Browns season, along with Braylon Edwards sagging fantasy season.
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