Jeff Van Gundy Prepares to Spend NBA Off-Season Protecting NYC Subway Station

Ghoulish fiend Jeff Van Gundy has publicly vowed to clean New York City’s grimy subway stations of the tortured souls that infest them once the NBA Finals have officially ended.  He was quoted, “After I’m done announcing the Finals with Kobe Bryant’s underwear on my head, it is time for me to return to the seedy underworld from whence I came, and keep the Knickerbocker faithful’s mass transit system free of the ghosts that plague it.”

Van Gundy also promised to enter the realm of the living once this summer to dry hump and then bite Alonzo Mourning’s leg.


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