(Not So) Steaming Piles of Crap: Athlete Endorsed Sega Games
The Genesis is by far and away Sega’s most successful video game system. Although many people prefer the Super Nintendo as their 16-bit mothership, there is no debating one thing: The Genesis blew the SNES out of the water when it came to sports games. EA Sports and Sega had a remarkable partnership in the 90′s, and many of the premier sports games on the market still hail from this system (ex. Madden Championship Edition). With the crappy NES and even shittier SNES games already covered, we will dive balls deep in the Sega systems, and analyze each athlete-endorsed video game for the Sega, Genesis, Sega CD, Sega 32X, and Sega Saturn. Grab a drink, this may take awhile.
36 Great Holes of Golf Starring Fred Couples
Better titles include, “36 shots of Beam starring yours truly, Steelhead”
Andre Agassi Tennis
Sweet 16-bit mullet Andre
Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf
Very underrated first-gen Genesis game. Addicting and fun. No shit
Ayrton Senna’s Super Monaco GP
Senna’s trophy for, “Most obscure pseudo-athlete to ever endorse a video game” was richly earned that year
Barkley Shut-Up and Jam 2
Pretty sure people in the 7th layer of hell have to play this sculch all day
Bill Walsh College Football
First college football game that was worth its salt. Not bad at all, and infinitely better than, “Bobby Bowden’s Prison-yard Football”
Brett Hull Hockey ’95
Apparently 16-bit mullets were En Vogue back then
Cal Ripken Jr. Baseball
Better seller than: “Billy Ripken’s Fuckface Baseball”
Chavez 2
More great cover art, more lame ass Chavez boxing game
Chi Chi’s Pro Challenge
Complete with fedora from Scarface
Coach K College Basketball
Excellent game, other than the countless layups that hit the wrong side of the backboard. Very frustrating, trust me here
David Robinson’s Supreme Court
Those were the days when the Admiral was relevant enough to have his own game
Dick Vitale’s Awesome Baby! College Basketball
If you like to hear, “AWESOME BABY!” or “Dippsy Doo Dunkaroo!” every 3.8 seconds, then this game is for you, and I hate you
Evander Holyfield’s Real Deal Boxing
Set the stage for “Greatest Heavyweights,” which is my favorite boxing game ever (2nd to MTPO of course)
George Foreman’s KO Boxing
Game comes with free turkey baster, and gravy bong
Jack Nicklaus Power Challenge Golf
I’m beginning to think the Golden Bear had an unhealthy vice or two (hookers? meth?) to endorse all this junk
James “Buster” Douglas Knockout Boxing
Great first-gen Genesis game. You could throw hellacious hooks in this game, and the last guy is named Ironhead, so I’m naturally impressed
Jennifer Capriati Tennis
Not gonna lie, I had a crush on old Cap when she lost all that weight and quit doing drugs. Actually it was the previous time-frame
Jerry Glanville’s Pigskin Footbrawl
S & M meets the Run & Shoot, compliments of Jerry Glanville
Joe Montana Football
First of many Montana endorsed Sega games. Don’t look on Ebay for “Team Sega” football jerseys asshole, they don’t exist
Jordan vs Bird: Super One-on-One
Mildly better than the NES version. MILDLY, as in, “The 250 lb. porker over there is mildly more fuckable than the 300lb. one next to her”
Mario Andretti Racing
When will Comiskey Park host, “Racing Game Demolition Night?” I’m begging you Bill Veeck, RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE ala Altered Beast
Mario Lemieux Hockey
This is a shitty one my friends, but not nearly as bad as, “Claude Lemieux Hit and Hide Behind Teammates Hockey”
Mike Ditka Power Football
Greatest….opening….screen……ever. The Coach looks more regal than Winston Churchill
Minnesota Fats: Pool Legend
Followed by: “Crazy Legs Conti: Canoli Eating Legend”
Muhammed Ali Heavyweight Boxing
More of the same old stinky ass sheeeeeeeeeot from Virgin Games. Very worthless tribute to The Greatest
Nigel Mansell World Championship
Ahh Nigel Mansell, the undisputed whore of video game endorsements, we meet again. I see your sex offender mustache is well
Pat Riley Basketball
Comes with tub of bear fat for your hair, and undeserved sense of superiority and entitlement. BEAT LA. BEAT LA
Pele!
Sequel was titled: “IT’S MOTHERFUCKING PELE BEEEYOTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Prime Time: NFL 95′ Starring Deion Sanders
With Montana retired, Sega looked to another player who exuded grace and humility on and off the field. After finding nobody to fit said bill, Neon was hired
Roger Clemens MVP Baseball
I’m done putting the stupid cover shot of this stupid freakin’ game up. If you reallly want to see it, go to the NES or SNES article, and please don’t wear your seatbelt on the way
Shaq-Fu
Once again, the Diesel needs to learn to defend himself against a blob like Barkley before endorsing a fighting game
Tommy Lasorda Baseball
Decent baseball game, considering it was the FIRST for the Genesis, and it came with free canolis. Score one for the skipper
Tony LaRussa Baseball
The original was terrible, but the franchise got better, just like LaRussa’s A’s after they all started taking steroids
Troy Aikman NFL Football
“Now with head exploding concussions!”
Slam City with Scottie Pippen
1990: Sega CD: $300 Slam City with Scottie Pippen: $50 Scottie Pippen rapping: PRICELESS
Slam & Jam with Magic and Kareem
Better game than, “Piss & Moan with Duncan and Kobe”
Walter Payton Football
This game could be worse than 10 Yard Fight, but having Sweetness on the cover of it makes it top ten
World Series Baseball Starring Deion Sanders
Sega’s hard-on for Deion continues. This game had the coolest behind the plate shot of any baseball title at the time, complete with detailed stadiums. You could even see Phillie fans throwing batteries at JD Drew in the outfield of Veterans Stadium
Click here for athlete endorsed NES games
Click here for athlete endorsed SNES games
Click here for the 12 most underrated players in Tecmo Super Bowl
Click here for NBA vs WWF Superstars
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Bill Walsh college football was the shit.
YOU DONT KNOW WHO AYRTON SENNA IS? I know Americans are egotistic but SENNA? He was a F1 SUPERSTAR 3 TIMES F1 WORLD CHAMPION in a 10 YEAR CARRER, at the time the game was lanched it was one of the biggest star!!! HE DIED DURING A RACE, AFTER A CRASH in 1994. In Brazil, he’s home country he’s still a superstar, his former bride is still famous because of it AND HE DIED 15 YEARS AGO… And not only Brazil, if you have any doubt search for a documentary about his life and
Not really “Most obscure pseudo-athlete”. The game wasnt really launched for a American audience that doesnt care about F1, but for European and South American crowds. Obscure most of “football” dudes who sponser games that are only known in America but outside US(& Canada), are Obscure pseudo-athletes. Baseball at least has Japan & Central America but “football”…where else but in America & Canada is it played?
Ricardo,
Thank you for shedding light on who Senna was. You are absolutely right that Americans (for the most part) do not follow F1 racing. My countrymen will always be more focused on football, basketball, baseball, and hockey above all else.
Ricardo
that is a great wikipedia entry you wrote, congrats. I didn’t know wikipedia was hiring.