Steaming Piles of Crap: Athlete Endorsed NES Games

If there is one thing that can be considered fortunate in my pathetic life, it’s gotta be the mere fact that I was born in an era that allowed me to enjoy the Nintendo craze of the 80’s and 90’s.  The NES still rules, and it would take some very convincing arguments to dissuade me from the belief that Tecmo Super Bowl is the best video game ever made for any system.  Although Nintendo cranked out some great sports games, the well-known rule all kid-gamers followed was, “If an athlete’s name is in the title of the game, it will suck major ass, so don’t buy it.”  This credo saved me much dissappointment and money back in the day.  In case you didn’t get that particular memo, here’s  a comprehensive list of every athlete endorsed video game for the NES, and I will also reveal the one that bucked a sad trend, and actually ascended to the status of top ten all-time video game. Enjoy.

jvb2

Al Unser Jr. Turbo Racing

unser1

I’ll be straightforward:  If you owned this game, you probably drank paint too

Bill Elliott’s NASCAR Challenge

elliott

You’re going to find out very quickly that the NES loved making racing games, and if you owned this one, you probably wore jorts

Bo Jackson Baseball

bobaseball

The only good thing about this heap of trash was if you sent in proof of purchase, you got a complimentary plastic hip

Danny Sullivan’s Indy Heat

sullivan1

I promise this won’t be the last racing game, and if you owned this, you probably had a rat-tail

George Foreman’s KO Boxing

foreman

This title paved the way for Foreman to whore his name out to 5 children, and a successful grill company

Greg Norman’s Golf Power

norman

Better name: “Greg Norman’s Choke Power”

Ivan “Ironman” Stewart’s Super Off-Road

stewart

Great arcade game, horrendously shitty NES game….if you owned this, you probably walked around with a Kool-Aid stained mouth

Jack Nicklaus’ Greatest 18 Holes of Major Championship Golf

nicklaus

You will spend more time reading the title of this humdrum game than playing it

Jimmy Connors Tennis

connors

This one might have been popular if 40 something housewives played the NES

John Elway’s Quarterback

elway

There is a secret code in this game where Elway will jump on Terrell Davis’ back, and be carried to two Super Bowls

Jordan vs Bird

jordanvsbird

Concept: Amazing  Game: Flaming poo

Lee Trevino’s Fighting Golf

trevino

WOW…Not only does Trevino endorse this garbage, but so does the (gasp) U.S. National Video Game Team!!!!!!

Magic Johnson’s Fast Break

magic

Slammin’ Jammin’ Basketball ACTION=Crappy Pixelated Slow-Moving Feces

Michael Andretti’s World Grand Prix

andretti

Notice the K-Mart logo on the side of Andretti’s car…..if you owned this, you probably shopped there

Mike Tyson’s Punchout

tyson

Here she is, the absolute crown jewel of athlete-endorsed video games.  MTPO is easily one of the most enduring and popular games ever created.  I absolutely love this game, and it will forever be in my top-ten all-time favorites.  Von Kaiser for Senate

Nigel Mansell’s World Championship Challenge

mansell1

1. Who the hell is Nigel Mansell?

2. Why the hell did he get his own game?

3. If you owned this, you probably grew up under power lines

Roger Clemens’ MVP Baseball

clemens

This game sucked, but with proof of purchase you got a free bag of vitamins that would “keep you strong”

Top Players Tennis-Featuring Chris Evert & Ivan Lendl

lendl

Two great players, one lame ass game

Wayne Gretzky Hockey

gretzky

The first of many Gretzky endorsed video games that sucked

Click here for: Athlete endorsed SNES games

Click here for: The 12 most underrated players in Tecmo Super Bowl

Click here for: NBA vs WWF Superstars

Click here for: Athlete endorsed Sega games

3 Comments

  1. Pingback by BLOGVIDEOS » Posts about sports as of July 21, 2009 on July 21, 2009 9:01 am

    […] music.  And its program director, Bob Mitchell, was considered the grand guru of the format. Steaming Piles of Crap: Athlete Endorsed NES Games – fourhorsementattoo.com 07/21/2009 If there is one thing that can be considered fortunate in […]

  2. Pingback by Steaming Piles of Crap: Athlete Endorsed SNES Games | Four Horsemen Tattoo - Confessions of a Sports Fanatic on July 21, 2009 10:29 am

    […] we looked at athlete endorsed NES games.  Today, we move on to its big brother, the […]

  3. Pingback by (Not So) Steaming Piles of Crap: Athlete Endorsed Sega Games | Four Horsemen Tattoo - Confessions of a Sports Fanatic on July 21, 2009 12:17 pm

    […] games on the market still hail from this system (ex. Madden Championship Edition).  With the crappy NES and even shittier SNES games already covered, we will dive balls deep in the Sega systems, and […]

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a comment