Four Horsemen Tattoo – Confessions of a Sports Fanatic

My love for the NES is very well documented.  There isn’t a system out there that can consistently suck my time away like the magical 8-bit box in my living room can.  When Nintendo and Sega released 16-bit behemoths Super Nintendo and Genesis to usher in a new era in gaming, I resisted the change.  NOTHING was going to replace my NES, plain and simple.  I drug my feet for a year before eventually getting a SNES, and noticed something about it very quickly: The SNES made AWESOME action games, and absolutely TERRIBLE sports games.

Yesterday, we looked at athlete endorsed NES games.  Today, we move on to its big brother, the SNES

Al Unser Jr. : Road to the Top

Awesome…..another racing game.  Excuse me while I bong Drano

Andre Agassi Tennis

Beard? Check. Mullet? Check. Pastel outfit? Check. Shitty tennis game? Check.

Barkley: Shut-Up & Jam

Great title endorsed by great person, but that’s where the awesomeness ends.  This is easily a top 5 worst roundball game ever

Bill Laimbeer Combat Basketball

This one sucks royal ass, despite having Laimbeer sponsor it, and the theme being “basketbrawl”

Bill Walsh College Football

EA Sports + Sega Genesis=Gold    EA Sports + Super Nintendo=Toxic Lead

Brett Hull Hockey

“Al Michaels Call the Shots” should read, “Al Michaels reads 3 different cue cards that are played endlessly, rendering your brain useless”

Cal Ripken Jr. Baseball

Looks good right?  Try playing this choppy piece of roadkill, and you will see the truth

Chavez

Hilarious cover, but the fun stops there.  This game is less fun than wearing grandma’s colostomy bag to a Hula

Emmitt Smith Football

He’s the ninth best running back ever on this game too

Frank Thomas Big Hurt Baseball

This was slightly more popular than “Craig Grebeck’s Little Hurt Baseball.”  That’s for us Sox fans

George Foreman’s KO Boxing

Apparently the video game camera takes away 20 lbs.

Jack Nicklaus Golf

What’s more boring than golf?  Playing a golf video game of course.  What’s worse than syphilis? Herpes

Jimmy Connors Tennis

I’m not gonna lie, this was kind of cool.  You could play on an ice court in Antarctica, and slide around and shit.  Nevermind, it sucked

John Madden Football

Super Nintendo couldn’t even bring the most successful video game franchise of all-time to life

Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball

The Griffey titles were actually licensed by Nintendo and MLB, so they weren’t too bad, unlike him after leaving Seattle

Magic Johnson’s Super Slam Dunk

I would rather watch my “Magic Johnson” disappear in my hand than play this shit

Mark Davis: The Fishing Master

I’m fucking speechless

Michael Andretti Indy Car Challenge

I have a better challenge: Buy a bottle of Beam, and drink it in one sitting

Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City

Not as creepy as “Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker,” but pretty damn close.  Not as bad as, “Kobe Bryant: Turmoil in Aspen” though

Newman-Hass Indy Car Challenge Featuring Nigel Mansell

Good grief.  Not this asshole again

Nolan Ryan’s Baseball

You know you have a horrible game when the still-frame graphics suck a fat one.  Pic should be Ryan pummeling Robin Ventura.  Sorry Rob

Roger Clemens MVP Baseball

Free syringe with proof of purchase kids, compliments of Uncle Rog

Shaq Fu

A fighting game endorsed by Shaq lacks credibility after Barkley slammed the Diesel that one fateful evening

Sterling Sharpe: End to End

Slightly more popular than, “Shannon Sharpe: Ass to Mouth”

Troy Aikman NFL Football

This game would be playable if Joe Buck did the commentating: “Oh Troy, you are such a stud.”

Click here for the 12 most underrated players in Tecmo Super Bowl

Click here for athlete endorsed NES games

Click here for NBA vs WWF Superstars

Click here for athlete endorsed Sega games

3 Comments

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a comment

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website